


SP//dr - Sexy Prince//digital reconnaissance

by bitchytimemachine



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Bulma spying on Vegeta, Fluff and Crack, Spider spy drone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 20:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19838314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchytimemachine/pseuds/bitchytimemachine
Summary: I have been created for a specific purpose, to gather all intel possible on my target. I will follow my programming to the letter and get everything, even if it kills me.Crack fic involving Bulma creating a drone that follows Vegeta around CC.... POV the drone.





	SP//dr - Sexy Prince//digital reconnaissance

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoy this silly little thing I made... look for a video game cameo somewhere in this.... 
> 
> Also, its unbeta'd so I'm sure there's lots of booboos in here. :)
> 
> So much thanks to Sharageta_san for helping me come up with some of these acronyms!

_Booting SP//dr_

… … …

_Every Acoustic Response online_

I can hear the whirring of my parts before anything else registers. My boot up is slow, but I have not been awake before, and my code is complex. I wait for my systems to come online one by one.

_Voyeuristic Intelligence EveryWhere initiated_

My aperture widens letting light flood my sensors. My visual recognition programming boots into overdrive and a blurry vision appears in front of me slumped over a desk. I sit on a pedestal, surrounded by wires attached to my various ports.

_Initializing S.N.N.A.P._

She glances towards me and mumbles, “Shit, need to clear the VIEW,” before I hear the unmistakable clicking of her keyboard. My lens adjusts and I see things in sharp clarity. A woman sits in front of me, furiously pounding on the keys of a computer. Her blue hair is thrown haphazardly on top of her head in a high bun. “Fucking bugs, for SNAP to work I need clear focus at all times.”

_Sensing Close Alien Natives active_

She continues to talk to herself as she works. Thick glasses cover her eyes and a cigarette hangs loosely from her lips. She looks annoyed and overtired. My AI kicks in and I feel a surge of pride that the creator would drive herself to exhaustion to give me life, and I know that my mission is of the utmost importance. I sit and watch her work for exactly 8 minutes and 23 seconds before she reaches to turn on the recording device behind her.

_Artificial Intelligence online_

She then turns to me and if I had a heart it would have dropped to the bottom of my processors. It’s easy to say it is love at first sight when her big blue eyes lock with me and she smiles brilliantly. I will do anything for her.

_Testing motion…._

She begins to speak to me now, “Ok, test functionality of leg 1…” I tap my leg on the ground, “leg 2..” and again I tap. She continues with all eight legs then scribbles some notes on a pad of paper.

“Transmit VIEW,” she commands before looking to her monitor. I broadcast everything I sense to her. She squeals at seeing her face on the screen in front of her, as well as the ambient temperature, her vital signs, and all information regarding the _Every Acoustic Response_.

“Test SCAN.” My field of vision floods with information. The walls appear translucent and I can see the bright blobs of color that indicate other workers moving around the lab compound. Boxes attach to each one and indicate their Codenames as I SCAN.

“Functionality is good,” I hear scribbling of her pen on paper, “Lock onto Codename **MUSTACHE** , and bring up CC database information.”

SCAN locates the Codename and locks onto him. Text floods my vision as his company records are accessed. He is a new hire, hourly paid, 6’3’’, 152 pounds, single, but dating a plucky farmer.

I pay attention to his form, which is bent over the counter in the staff lounge. His arm shakes and his pulse skyrockets as he shakes over the counter. After long moments, he turns, there is another spike in his heart rate and his breathing is heavy. He begins walking towards the lab and Codename **BOSSBITCH**.

“I see Harvey is on his way here,” she says quietly before he bursts through the door. His arms are outstretched and his mouth is twisted in a maniacal smile.

“It’s taken me weeks, Dr. Briefs, but I have finally done it!” Codename **MUSTACHE** proudly sets a steaming cup of liquid in front of Codename **BOSSBITCH** and out of curiosity I take a peek. It is a golden color with the shape of a head and flame in bright white. Codename **BOSSBITCH** smiles and hums to herself, looking over what has been presented to her.

“Yes Harvey, this is so much better! It really does look like our houseguest now doesn’t it?” She smiled and took a deep drink of the liquid. “Thank you, I wanted the best and after weeks of trial and error, I know that I have hired the absolute best barista money can buy.”

“Thank you Dr. Briefs,” codename **MUSTACHE** says as clasps his hands in front of his face and leaves quietly. She takes a few long sips of the liquid and closes her eyes languidly for a moment.

She opens them and looks at me with a smile that my programming tells me is mischievous. “Ok, I think we are about ready,” Codename **BOSSBITCH** says and begins to gently remove wires one at a time from my body. When they are all gone, she looks at me again, smiles and says, “alright my little Spider, go and find codename **DADDY** and initiate SNNAP.”

I quickly scan all codenames in the range of SCAN and decide **DADDY** is not at the lab compound. Pulling up GPS of the area I plan my route to the place my coding tells me is the most likely place to find my target, the living and training compound.

I move swiftly through the labs and manage a quick transit to my destination. When GPS notifies me I have entered the living compound boundaries, I initiate SCAN once more. I see Codename **COOKIES** and Codename **MAHBOI** in the kitchen. **COOKIES** appears to be feeding **MAHBOI** , who is eating faster than she can put food on his highchair tray. I move closer and notice Codename **SMARTYPANTS** hiding on his balcony. He appears to be smoking a cigarette, and I zoom and focus to confirm, then snap a photo, annotate my findings and ping **BOSSBITCH**. I move further into the compound before noticing target **DADDY** in the GR. I quickly move towards the training facility and get a notification reading: _SP//dr, remind me in 1 hour to show codename **COOKIES SMARTYPANTS** progress towards quitting smoking. _

When I make it to the GR, SNNAP activates and begins broadcasting all vitals and any visuals I am afforded to **BOSSBITCH**. **DADDY** is visible only with my infrared camera, so I move to the viewing window and attempt to keep the target in my field of vision. He moves fast, my sensors can not clock his movement speed, his heart rate registers at 40 BPM, quite slow for the amount of physical strain he is putting his body through. His temperature is quite elevated, reaching 43.3C. As he pushes himself his temperature elevates more and his heart rate drops. His body is slick with sweat and he pauses periodically for a drink of room temperature water before continuing to assault my brothers and sisters. They die valiant deaths, and I know they are proud to complete their programming with honor.

He finishes his workout and slams his fist on the shutdown button. I move off the door as the GR slowly turns off. The door swings open and **DADDY** walks out of the room and towards the kitchen. I follow as best as I can considering my small size, recording vitals as his body returns to its resting state. His temperature lowers to 38C, and his heart rate raises to 60 BMP.

He spends exactly 15 minutes in the kitchen eating steak, leftover casserole, salad and a loaf of French bread. He then cleans his dishes and puts them in various cabinets and drawers. He looks around him to make sure no one is around before he slips through the door to the conservatory. 

He moves deep in the overgrown brush and he appears to be looking for something. He stops suddenly, and I can see a large smile cross his face as he stares far above his head. He reaches up as a large green dinosaur careens through the trees and underbrush. The carnivore roars and his tail swishes from side to side before jumping in the air and landing directly in the outstretched arms of Codename **DADDY**.

I move closer to see and hear better for **BOSSBITCH** ’s records. “I know I haven’t visited in a few days Cuddles,” **DADDY** says as he squeezes the beast. _SP//dr remind me in one day that Codename **DADDY** has named our pet raptor CUDDLES_ flies through my field of vision. I process the command and am able to move out of the way as the branch of a tree is flung towards me. The ground shakes as Cuddles bounds towards me. I scurry out of the way, and climb a tree so I am in a safe place to watch what is happening.

I see treetops move before large toothy snout of Cuddles appears, carrying the limb back to **DADDY**. He raises off the ground and grabs the limb, “Now, now Cuddles, you have to let go if you want me to throw it.” His voice is gentle and soft, I whirl the diaphragm of my microphone closer to my target so **BOSSBITCH** can clearly hear everything that is said.

 **DADDY** is shaking the limb in what appears to be a violent way, and a boisterous laugh fills the space as Cuddles moves his head back and forth without letting go of the large stick. He prys it from sharp teeth and plays fetch for 6 minutes and 23 seconds longer before he stops.

Cuddles lowers his nose towards **DADDY** , and he grips both sides of the Dinosaurs face gently. He pets the lizards cheeks and the top of his head before looking side to side and planting a gentle kiss to the creatures nose. “Good boy,” he whispers before turning and walking quickly away, his smile fading with each step he takes. Cuddles wines, and spins in a circle before settling down and whining as he watches **DADDY** leave.

I haven’t had eyes on **DADDY** for quite a while and I am alarmed as a reminder flashes before my eyes. It had been an hour and I ping **BOSSBITCH** to _show codename **COOKIES SMARTYPANTS** progress towards quitting smoking_.

I am close to my target, VIEW tells me that he is standing in **MAHBOI** ’s room. As I crest over the top of the final stair, I hear the slam of a door and the high pitched squeal of a woman. My emergency settings kick in and I begin to identify the codename in trouble and who I need to alert, be it the police, EMS, firefighters, or Goku. **COOKIES** pads angrily towards me, and begins to yell, “Bakser Brief! I see you smoking again! You can’t deny it this time you old codger!” She continues to yell at Codename **SMARTYPANTS** and I assess the situation as a non-emergency situation.

I continue down the hallway and struggle to push my body through the plush carpet as I move into **MAHBOI** ’s room. It is dark, and the timestamp on the video footage tells me it is 23:47:53. **DADDY** is kneeling beside the babes crib, his black eyes are level with the unwieldy mop of lavender hair the adorns **MAHBOI**.

 **DADDY** 's lips are moving and the sound that is coming out of them is so quiet that my microphone can't register the vibrations. I ease forward until the sounds register. “...Super Saiyan. And that is your Papa’s destiny. Greatness flows through your veins boy, the ancient blood of the royal line of the greatest warriors in the universe. You are destined to be the greatest Saiyan ever. I will assure a future for you, and that your line will be vast and strong.” He pauses and clenches his eyes shut for a moment before he stands. He touches three fingers to his chest and places them on **MAHBOI** over his temple. “Goodnight my son.” He turns and moves to the door, placing his hand on the door and concentrating momentarily before moving out of the room.

I follow behind him as quickly as I can. I make it into **DADDY** s room and move quickly to where my sensors register him. My feet click on the tile as I push further into the room, which is full of billowing steam. I move under the curtain and focus my lens to capture **DADDY** ’s actions. He is cleansing himself, and I find it odd that my programming places such a high priority on this aspect of the target. I track his hands as they rub the soap over his chest, abdomen and nether regions. I question the import of such information, but I still take precise measurements of ALL his dimensions, perhaps **BOSSBITCH** wants to tailor a gift to **DADDY**?

He quickly washes his hair, and steps out of the shower. He stands at the sink and spends 4 minutes and 27 seconds brushing his teeth. He reaches for a towel and begins to rub the excess water from his body.

As **DADDY** bends to dry his legs, his eyes lock on to me. PANIC protocols kick in and I scurry away. “Fucking vermin,” I hear before I feel a pressure over my circuts. My entire being is being squeezed, and I quickly load a second backup of all records I have taken to the cloud. The last things I register is my lens breaking, sending my vision dark and the crunch of my parts underfoot.

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case you wanna know what all the acronyms are...  
> SNNAP - Spying on a Nearly Naked Alien Prince.  
> SP//dr - Sexy Prince//digital reconnaissance  
> VIEW Voyeuristic Intelligence EveryWhere  
> EAR Every Acoustic Response  
> SCAN Sensing Close Alive Natives
> 
> Thanks for reading, leave me some love if you enjoyed it!


End file.
